The whistles go WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!

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Slappin Grannies Has a NEW Appeal!

Uploaded on authorSTREAM by theclockblog

If you thought slappin grannies was a favorite past time in the past just wait until you learn about a new game we've invented that you can play pretty much anywhere. All you need is a granola bar, two card board boxes and two willing participants. The basic premise is to slap the granola bar back and fourth as many times as possible without letting it hit the floor. If it hits the floor the last person to hit it gets a point. The first person to get 27 points is the wiener! The granny may hit the ceiling, wall, trash can, co-worker or any other interference during the game but as long as it doesn't hit the floor it is still in play. We find that the grannies that slap the best are of the dry, crunchy variety. We usually just put the crumbled granny back with the others, after a long long game of slappin, for our co-worker, which; here, in this blog, will remain nameless* (Henson) simply because she usually spends hours (many a minute) "violently" crushing these grannies for her personal, yogurt surprise, enjoyment... although... now that I think about it... I don't know that we've ever told her that those grannies were custom slapped specifically for her, hmmmm. Finally there's a way to get your aggression out on a granny and NOT end up in in the hoosegow! Enjoy and don't forget to comment on how this life changing game has changed your life!
Disclaimer: The few co-workers we have played this game in front of (and the actual players... okay me!) have almost peed their pants from hysterics during the duration of the game. I would suggest bringing a change of bottoms or making a rule that all involved must wear diapers to participate. Otherwise, it could get U.G.L.Y. you aint got no alibi you ugly what what you ugly.

*Last name has been mentioned as a shout out to the trailblazer of yogurt surprise in the office!
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Bitches and Hos

JAN TERRI!!!

This chick is today's bitch AND ho for obvious reasons.


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It's September Suck-it Everybody!!!!

Have you ever realized that the word second sounds the same as suck-it? We have been inconspicuously using the word suck-it in place of the word second for decades (3 months) and no one EVER notices! Try it in a sentence, I'm telling you, no one will be able to tell. Pronounce suck-it as clearly as you would like, as long is it's used in the sentence properly it is completely "undetectable" (what does that even mean). The only way anyone will catch on is by the hysterical laughter from the parties involved. Use this technique to lighten the mood or jazz up a dinner! Just don't use it inappropriately as I'm sure it could be mistaken as a sexual innuendo (not speaking from experience) and that could be a recipe for disaster!

Good examples of ways to use suck-it in a sentence:

Moldy- "Phleming do you know what today is?"
Phleming- "Oh! September suck-it!"
Moldy- "Yuuuuuuup!" Weeeeeeeee."


Phleming-"Moldy! Are you ready to go to lunch?"
Moldy- "I'll be ready in three suck-its!"

Bad example of using suck-it in place of second:

Hey Mr. boss maaaan, I've hated you for this many suuuuck-IT's!


P.S. I think calendar sales would sky-rocket if they would change all 2nd and 22nds to suck-it and twenty suck-its! Just a thought you calendar creator peeps. I know you're reading this.

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