Tattoo of the Day!

After the "success" of yesterday's "Touching Tribute" post, I've decided to continue the tradition of sharing what I consider to be the greatest tattoos of all time. The only thing I can say about today's tattoo is that I think it could use a bit more shading in the face. As a professional tattoyeur (one who looks at pictures of tattoos on the internets), I strongly believe that you can never have enough shading. Feel free to leave your own comments.

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The Unicorn-Related Video of the Month!

Today is a very special day for all of you clock-bloggin' readers. You're probably thinking to yourself "Why is today so special? Did I win the lottery?" In a way, the answer is YES! Now don't start getting all scared and thinking to yourself "Waaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiit a minute......this isn't a lottery like in that Shirley Jackson short story where the 'winner' gets stoned to death, is it?" No. No it's not. In fact, the more I think about it, the less I like this whole "Lottery" analogy. Let's forget I brought it up, ok? Fine. I'm glad we're all on the same page now. Anycorn, the REAL reason today is so special is because I have decided, as LORD OF THE BLOG, that TODAY is going to be the first "monthly" UNICORN-RELATED VIDEO OF THE MONTH day! Hooray! Unicorns! Rainbows! Candy! Illegal black-market organ harvesting! Did I mention UNICORNS??!??!


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Touching Tribute of the Day

This one brought a tear to my eye.

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See You Next Tuesday!

While most are unaware of the meaning behind this phrase, there is an ever growing group of the population that have become hip to what this phrase really means (that's our job btw- to inform you of what's important in life.) Let me tell you, to those people, it cuts deep. U c... when one transforms this phrase into text format, they will witness the most awe inspiring, ground breaking, remarkable, habit forming* acronym the world has ever seen.

*This is your first and final warning that the usage of this phrase can become addicting. Our resident Bulgarian got wind of the real meaning of this phrase and has not stopped using it in the hallways, during business meetings, at lunch, to dif Plaguyee (the different plant guy), the window washers, the candy makers and the dreamers of the dreams (us). VERY inapprope.

So the next time someone says, "See you next Tuesday!" Don't take it personal... unless (of course) it's a Wednesday and you know you will see them for at least three more days until Tuesday rolls around again. Then you should take it VERY personally.



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Words of Wisdom

Listen, Lady.....you better HOPE it's your cooking that's monotonous, and not your conversation. Otherwise you're cruisin' for a bruisin'. The more you knoooowwwwwww!

(click on the picture if you know what's good for you)


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These are a Few of my Favorite Things...

Who needs raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens when you can watch a sassy performance like this one:



Speaking of sassy performances, have you ever in your life seen a more realistic portrayal of Helen Keller than this?


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The Daily WTF

Well hello, my fine (feathered?) friends! Today's WTF is going to be slightly different from "yesterday." Instead of asking you, our devoted readers, WHAT the F is wrong with Amy Winehouse (scurvy?), I'd like to ask WHY the F the girl in this video didn't become an international superstar. She's clearly got "the goods" to make it in "the entertainment biz." And by "the goods," I mean "dead eyes and silver tassles." And by "the entertainment biz," I mean "stripper." Oh.....maybe I just answered my own question.

Anydeadeyes, take a look at the following video and feel free to comment on where you think this chick ended up in life. I think we can all agree that "Concert Pianist" is out of the question.


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There's a F*cking Hair in the Mixed Nuts!

Phleming was not very happy yesterday morning when he was eating a handful of mixed nuts and so rightfully exclaimed, "Ewwww... there's a f*cking hair in the mixed nuts!" I asked, "Where is it?"and he answered, "I just pulled it out of my MOUTH!" He claimed he almost vomed at that very moment but I was too enamored by the live culture factor of my yogurt to realize the calamity of the situation. It wasn't until later in the afternoon that it occurred to me to ask him what kind of hair we were talking about. Now, you have to keep in mind that the plastic, Kirkland Signature, family sized jar of community (Fancy) mixed nuts that's in our office kitch is not the most sanitary of eating options. There are hands, eyes, plant guys and God only knows what else picking selected nuts out of that thing day and night. (Yes, someone has even spotted the plant guy, here forth referred to as Dif Plaguyee, because Sam Plaguyee either got fired or died, taking part in the delicious nut mix extravaganza.) It struck me that the type of hair we are discussing could really make the difference between pretty gross and vomitrotious Pastagina. He described the hair as long... "my length?" I asked, his response was an unequivocal nod. "and the color?" I asked, "blond." he replied. This is when it struck me... I had been leaning over the opened jar of mixed nuts on Friday! The interesting thing about it... he seemed relieved to know it was mine. It wasn't until four (or more) hours later that I had learned that my best friend/co-worker had chewed my hair with a variety of mixed nuts and had taken comfort in knowing it was mine, from my head and not a strangers from possibly the public (take out the l to break the code) region. I learned two very valuable lessons yesterday which I felt I should share with our loyal readers. A. #1. Don't lean over uncovered nuts that may end up in someone's mouth and B. #4. Always rinse your nuts if they are too salty as this will inadvertently wash away any unwanted hair. I'm gonna go get a handful of protein right now!

This Public Service Announcement was brought to you by the Clock Bloggers of America
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The Daily WTF

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy everybody! It's time, once again, for your daily WTF! You're probably thinking "WTF?!? I've never seen a 'WTF' posting on this blog.....how can it be DAILY if I've never seen it before?!" Well, to that I say: WE are the makers of the music, and WE are the dreamers of the dreams. So WTF do I care if some of you readers out there are going to get all nit-picky and point out EVERY LITTLE MISTAKE I MAKE! You think you're SOOOOOOOOOOO smart, don't you?!?!? Well YOU try making a blog then!



Anycrackho, back to the matter at hand. I found this precious jewel of a photo today while perusing some other (more successful) blogs, and I thought to myself "WTF is WRONG with her?" And then I read that she just turned 25, and I was like "SERIOUSLY.....WTF??!?!?!?" That's when I decided I needed to put it on my blog.



Behold:

(click on the picture to make it bigger.....if you dare)


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