Second (Suck-it) Annual Cheese of the "Day"!!

After many months of intense research, scientific polling, and wild speculation, the Clock Bloggers have (finally) chosen a successor to one of the most prestigious honors bestowed by this blog. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. It's time once again for the annual/semi-annual CHEESE OF THE DAY!!! You're probably thinking to yourself "OH MY GOD....has it already been a YEAR/SEMI-YEAR since SWISS CHEESE was named 'Cheese of the Day?'" The answer is yes. Yes it has.

Moving on.

According to our VERY scientific poll, chosen by our devoted readers, our next CHEESE OF THE MOTHERF&*^$NG DAY is:

FULL HOUSE!!!!!

Full House: (pronounced full houz)

Full House is widely regarded by scientists to be the "Cheesiest of all Cheeses" (despite repeated claims by Kraft Mac and Cheese). Arguably the most influential of all the cheeses, the origins of Full House have been the subject of much debate throughout history. References to this mighty cheese can be found in dozens of ancient documents, most notably the Holy Bible (And so it came to be, in the city of Nazareth, a child was born, to which Mary exclaimed 'Oh Mylanta!' God replied 'HOW RUDE!' - Ezekial 10:22) Additionally, a recent archeological dig in Southern France has uncovered further evidence that Full House may have been around far longer than anyone imagined.

Hey Mr. T! Look, I still have my vestigial tail!

In addition to it's significant historical contributions (some would call it the "Building Cheese Wheel of Humanity"), Full House has proven to have unprecendented health and cosmetic benefits. A single serving of Full House can sustain/beautify an entire Third World Country for 7 years.
Cheese: Does a body good.

Not to mention delicious:

Hold the onions please.

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Bitches and Hos

Today's Featured Bitch:

WILSON POTTER

Today's Bitch is Phleming's Dog-In-Law, Wilson. Wilson enjoys dressing up, long walks on the beach, stealing gloves, and looking out the window. He's currently single, and looking to mingle. Large dogs need not apply (just a preference). 

Today's Featured Ho(se):

Gardenia Hosenhausen

Gardenia is a typical hose. She's a litte leaky from overuse, but she will still clean your deck. Gardenia enjoys potted plants and lying out in the sun. She prefers the outdoors, and she's great with kids and pets. How many hose can say THAT?!

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The Cheese of the Day

Because we love cheese SO MUCH, we will be regular(ly) updating you with our favorite cheeses. Cheese brings us much joy, and joyness. We add cheese to our Lean Cuisine's (purchased exclusively at the Farmer's Market. Hand picked. FRESH. EVERY DAY. (Wednesday). It's something that we LOVE. Cheese.

Yours,

Moldy and Phlemming


P.S. Here's the Cheese of the Day (we will be updating this annually/semi-annually)

SWISS CHEESE!!!!!

Swiss Cheese: (pronounced sue-wasss chess)
Invented in 1992, Swiss cheese has quickly become a delicious cheese sensation throughout the lower 48 states (coming soon to Alaska and Hawaii!!!!). The "holes" are created by small worker mice in Swiss Cheese Factories (located in Honolulu and Anchorage) using special mouse-sized scissors. Human rights activists have long been opposed to the working conditions (27 hour days) forced upon these specially trained mice, but they cannot deny the deliciousness of the final product. For this reason, and this reason alone, Swiss Cheese has been allowed to continue production. Little is known about what happens with the extra cheese "donut holes" (if it pleases you), but there has been wide speculation that the excess, when melted down, is used to produce a powerful heroin-like substance that the mice then inject intravenously while working to cope with the long hours and stressful environment. It is not believed that the rest of the cheese possesses these drug-like qualities (although you wouldn't know it, considering how DE-F&*&NG-LICIOUS it is!!!).

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What Time Is It?

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